Thursday, June 26, 2008

The world's largest woodpecker

The woman holding it in her hands allows you to really see the scale of it.






Where I come from, the tree in the photo is also known as a "Dillon" tree.


Thursday, June 19, 2008

Cowboy

A rugged Cowboy from Brokeback Mountain, Colorado, goes into the doctor's office and has some test run. The doctor comes back and says, "I am not going to beat around the bush, you have AID'S."

Cowboy tugs at his Stetson and sets his jaw and says, "Doc, what can I do?"

The doctor says, "I want you to go home and eat 5 pounds of spicy sausage, a head of cabbage, 20 un-peeled carrots drenched in hot sauce, 10 jalapeno peppers, 40 walnuts and 40 peanuts, 1/2 box of Grape Nuts cereal, and top it off with a gallon of prune juice."

Cowboy squares his rugged shoulders and asks, "Will that cure me doctor?"

"No, but it should leave you with a better understanding of what your ass is for!!"

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Mallard Fillmore




See all of Mallard Fillmore here:
http://jewishworldreview.com/strips/mallard/2000/mallard1.asp

Joke of the Day

An Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand pulling a male buffalo with the other. He says to the waiter: 'Want coffee.'

The waiter says, 'Sure, Chief. Coming right up.'

He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee. The Indian drinks the coffee down in one gulp, turns and blasts the buffalo with the shotgun, causing parts of the animal to splatter everywhere, then walks out.

The next morning the Indian returns. He has his shotgun in one hand, pulling another male buffalo with the other. He walks up to the counter and says to the waiter, 'Want coffee.'

The waiter says 'Whoa, Tonto! We're still cleaning up your mess from yesterday. What was all that about, anyway?'

The Indian smiles and proudly says ......
'Training for position in United States Congress: Come in, drink coffee, shoot the bull, leave mess for others to clean up, disappear for rest of day.

Monday, June 09, 2008

Conservatives Be Aware!

I found a site that offers "free" conservative bumper stickers. To qualify also visit their site MetroSpy.

Free bumpers stickers:
http://www.bumperclub.com/free.htm

MetroSpy site:
http://www.shopmetrospy.com/

Sunday, June 08, 2008

A U.S. MAP for all of us

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Click on it to see it larger

Friday, June 06, 2008

The Amish Farmer

THE AMISH FARMER

An Amish farmer, walking through his field, notices a man kneeling down and drinking from his farm pond.

The Amish farmer shouts:
'Trink das wasser nicht. Die kuhen haben dahin gesheissen.' (Which means: 'Don't drink the water. The cows have shit in it.')

The kneeling man shouts back:
'I'm a Muslim. I don't understand you. I speak Arabic and English. If you can't speak in the sacred tongue of Islam, speak in English.'

The Amish farmer says: 'Use two hands. You'll get more.'

Saturday, May 31, 2008

Me

I am sorry, myself is the about the only thing I can talk about. It keeps me busy.

I have recovered somewhat since last posting on my self dated 5-12-08. I no longer have wheels. I spent 3 weeks in a wheelchair at rehab, 4 weeks since on a walker and now I have gone 6 days without a walker. I can not walk very fast and not real well but I move along.

Well I did have to use the walker one afternoon, I have taken a bunch of sedatives for an MRI on my shoulder. I could not walk that HIGH and I had to walk to the MRI room. The MRI was a complete failure. The put me in and I wanted OUT NOW! I need an open MRI and my insurance company won't pay for it so now we battle over my health care and their stupid rules. I am supposed to have a brain scan done too before my 6-16 doctor's appointment. This Dr is supposed give me the OK to go back to work and drive. Hey I am driving now, not very often but I can handle it just fine. So I have Monday to harass the insurance company and then get it set up in time for my Shoulder MRI to one doctor and brain scan to another doctor all within 2 weeks. Some one needs to come up with something other than an MRI to look at my shoulder and I don't even know what is involved in my brain scan but this is all BULLSHIT to me.

I am well enough to drive and to go to work. I don't need all this crap. I just need my shoulder fixed and I would like it fixed after 4 months of it being messed up. I NEED TO WORK AND GET SOME INCOME BEFORE I GET FURTHER BEHIND ON BILLS AND POSSIBLY LOSE MY HOME. STOP MESSING WITH THIS CRAP AND TAKE CARE OF IT!

This week, I also went to visit Social Security about disability. They basically told us that you (me) will never get any money because it take a full year and my wife make too much money for me to qualify for any disability. Oh they filled out forms and will pursue my medical records (3 months waiting time). What a waste of my time.

I said out loud "that this is a waste of time, that I will be back to work in July." The Social security guy said "Just by looking at you, I doubt if you will be back to work in July" My God, he sounds just like my Physical, Occupational, and Speech therapist that I will not be back to work in July. "We are looking to some time this fall" they all said. I worked them over for a couple of weeks and possibly I may get back to work in July but only part time. BULLSHIT! I CAN GO NOW. I DON'T NEED ANOTHER MONTH OR TWO OR THREE MONTHS OF PHONY THERAPY. I HAVE A WIFE AND KIDS AND PETS AND A MORTGAGE AND THEY ALL NEED ME AND I AM CAPABLE OF MEETING THEIR NEEDS. HOW ABOUT YOU MEETING MY NEEDS AND GET MY FRICKING SHOULDER STRAITENED OUT AND GET ME BACK TO WORK.

Well screw you to social security, therapy, and insurance companies. You have dicked me around enough.

Any one who is willing to hire salesman with over 12 years experience, national ranking with Fortune 100 company. I also have over 15 years of Medical Microbiology experience with some general lab work in chemistry, urinalysis and hematology and have proven work record and leadership skills in both sales and medical fields. HIRE ME. I have bum shoulder and right arm and I also have a little difficulties in speaking now and perhaps will always have these shortcomings for the rest of my life. I can live with it, can you? I have always made money for the people I have always worked for and you will not be disappointed in me. I will probably do better than anyone else you may hire ,no matter what field, you want me to work. They may look better but I always comes through. Grab a hold of me now.

Well so much bitching for now. It is time for pills and some sleep.

Pills O.K., 3 hours later I am back up and editing this. Damn I would also like a good nights sleep as well. Call me a WHAAAbulance, boohoo get me Whine-a-kin and some French Cries.

Lionel Waxman

Lionel Waxman took the time and he email'd me. In case you haven't noticed recently his website was down for a while because illness and his website is back up and he is feeling better. He took the time to read my blog and sent me well wishes and other things. I will save this email. He has always been a local hero who has made it big. His Flashpoints are on your local radio and it is good to have him back.
Thanks Lionel.

See his site (it's been on my blog since my beginnings)
http://www.waxmanmedia.com/

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Monday, May 12, 2008

It is too hard to type right now, not impossible but is difficult. I wrote an email to friends and family a few days ago, to let them know how I was doing. I asked them to please forward this email to friends or family as I am not the person who saved emails and phone numbers over the years. I have not been very good at this but I plan on being much better in the future. I ask to please read the email because it is a lesson to all humans on being clumsy, being one who took others for granted and being to "busy" to worship, read or study the Bible or GOD. Here it is:

Please forward to whoever may be concerned. I have not been very good at saving email address so please do me a favor and forward this to friends and family.

I am home now. I was in various hospitals. For those who don't know what happen, here is what I'm been told mostly and remembered as best as I can.

I am learning to walk and talk again. I did damage to my brain after fracturing my skull in several places. I can't walk but am learning how. I can talk mostly now, but still have a way to go, but neither may be the same. Only a long time will tell me how much better I improve. I now have a walker, I graduated from a wheelchair. I am going to physical, speech and occupational therapy 2 or 3 times a week. I also just started going to a local gym trying to build strength and use the hot tub which relieves my back. I guess if I had a number, I would say physical is 60% and brain is 80% better right now.

I also broke or cracked 11 ribs. I am as sore as hell now. I have a whole bunch of Oxycontin (sp.?) to take away my pain. It is still impossible to sleep now.

They said I punctured a lung. This led to many medical problems at first and I seemed to have recovered as best as I can for now. I also have two screwed up shoulders. I can barely move my right arm and right hand is almost seems dead. They are not sure if I have shoulder problems from the fall or whether some of the the problems are related to the brain damage. I need more testing on it. Only time will tell for now. The short story is that I don't type very well!

They told I was in a coma for 6 days. I don't recall it. I missed all of the first 3 weeks, and the next 2 weeks I slowly came back and barely recall or remember too much. I then came back the next 2 weeks and they let out of the last place I was at (Health South Rehabilitation.) Seven weeks in a row at hospitals and I do not plan ever going back again.

I was to thank everyone who helped my family and my wife. My kids and my wife had a very hard time. I want thank everyone who came to visit me. I did not see most of you but I saw the ones who came toward the end of my stay. It really helped my kids and wife by those who helped them in so many ways, I am discovering more and more help that people had done so. I still do not know all of the help yet. This is why to please forward to all friends and family. This email ,at least, they we able to read my thanking them.
Oh by the way, I did this by falling off my ladder! I don't remember it and NO I DID NOT have any alcohol. I have not had any alcohol since the Super Bowl party. I throw in this because someone who did not know me started this rumor. I don't know why this pisses me off, but really irritates me. I had an accident on a Sunday morning, I never had drink in my whole life on a Sunday morning, I doubt if I started now. It was an accident period. Well that's is enough of this non sense anyway.

I have lost nearly 40 lbs. just 30 more lbs to go and I will be normal weight. I guess I will climb a ladder again and go the for 30 lbs :). Hell maybe I can get rich my writing a book on weight loss by climbing a frickin ladder.

I know I am sounding like whining but I do not intend that. I met some people the last place I stayed who really had it a lot worse than I did. I count my blessing everyday since. (Maybe you should too, count your blessing!). I be back someday. I am shooting for July to recover enough to go back to work maybe part time work to start off by then. I am thankful for being alive and thankful for friends and family, there is not really too much to life than friends and family.

My sons Brandon and Michael are helping out as much as they can. Brandon has moved home and he gets to drive me around to Physical therapy and Drs appointments and Michael drives me around too. My mother was here and really helped out and she will be back real soon to help me out. It is kinda weird a man of 52 years old who has his mother helping him out!

Of course my wife is very kind and loving and she is the one who really is the one who is taking of me and she had done so much for me while I was in hospital. All the stuff she had done is too much to list and I am finding more every day what she had to do while I am down. Thanks LOVE.

Well, I am having trouble typing this. But please forward this message to as many friends and family so I have way to let everyone I know I am OK and I really wants thanks them for watching me and my family. I really what to thank people who prayed for me. If you don't believe in GOD, how could you not believe in HIM after witnessing what has happened to me.

I know I can't type real well and have trouble making sentences with my short circuited brain right now, so bear with me as best you can to read this.

Bob

That's the email, I took the liberty of correcting some words and spellings. I hope it is O.K. to read.

Friday, February 22, 2008

Obama's mama

 


I am sick of presidential candidate Barack Obama being referred to as "African American" or "black." The truth is that he a a "caramel" candidate. His mama is white. If she were alive today, would she care that her side of the gene pool is ignored? What if Obama was trying to pass himself off as white, would the "African American" community be silent about his dark skinned father being ignored? The hypocrisy of it all is fascinating.
I'm willing to bet that a good percentage of Obama voters don't even know that he is biracial, because they really don't know what he stands for (other than his empty promises). They can't even name one achievement in his life. He just looks good and talks good and promises his dimwits what they want to hear.
To me he is just an empty suit, a tax-raising, baby killing, treasonous empty suit, and he may be our next president. If he becomes president of the U.S.A it will be a good thing for the Republican party (or soon to formed Conservative Party). After a couple years of him trying to "socialize" America even more, the American people will grow tired of his higher taxes and the Republicans will come back. Too bad that it will take a socialist to reunite this once great party of conservatives.
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Saturday, February 16, 2008

My daughter and son-in-law

 


Stephanie and Anthony Turner
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Granddaughter

 


Natalie poses for the camera
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Granddaughter

 


Everything goes in the mouth
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My youngest granddaughter

 


Kaylee
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My Granddaughter

 


Natalie strutting her stuff!
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Thursday, January 31, 2008

Military Casualities

This is the body of an email sent to me by my daughter Stephanie who proudly serves with the U.S. Navy:

It is now the official Election Year nationally; I have been getting these reports sent to me. This one was particularly interesting ( I have included a link to the original report). Whatever your politics, however you lean, however you feel about the War on Terrorism, this report should open some eyes.

Military losses: http://www.fas.org/sgp/crs/natsec/RL32492.pdf http://www.fas.org/sgp/crs/natsec/RL32492.pdf

These are some rather eye-opening facts.
Since the start of the war on terror in Iraq and Afghanistan, the sacrifice has been enormous. In the time period from the invasion of Iraq in March 2003 through today, we have lost over 3,000 military personnel to enemy action and accidents.
As tragic as the loss of any member of the US Armed Forces is, consider the following statistics: The annual fatalities of military members while actively serving in the armed forces from 1980 through 2006:
1980 ......... 2,392 (CarterYear)
1981 ......... 2,380 (Reagan Year)
1984 ..........1,999 (Reagan Year)
1988 ......... 1,819 (Reagan Year)
1989 ......... 1,636 (George HW Year)
1990 ......... 1,508 (George HW Year)
1991 ......... 1,787 (George HW Year)
1992 ......... 1,293 (George HW Year)
1993 .......... 1,213 (Clinton Year)
1994 .......... 1,075 (Clinton Year)
1995............2,465 (Clinton Year)
1996 .......... 2,318 (Clinton Year)
1997 ........... 817 (Clinton Year)
1998 ...........2,252 (Clinton Year)
1999 ...........1,984 (ClintonYear)
2000 ...........1,983 (Clinton Year)

1993-2000. 14,000 deaths Clinton years

2001........... 890 (George W Year)
2002 .......... 1,007 (George W Year)
2003 ...........1,410 (George W Year)
2004 .......... 1,887 (George W Year)
2005 ............ 919 (George W Year)
2006............. 920 (George W Year)

2001-2006....7,033 deaths George W years

If you are confused when you look at these figures, so was I.
Do these figures mean that the loss from the two latest conflicts in the Middle East are LESS than the loss of military personnel during Mr. Clinton's presidency; when America wasn't even involved in a war?
And, I was even more confused; when I read that in 1980, during the reign of President (Nobel Peace Prize winner) Jimmy Carter, there were 2,392 US military fatalities!

The latest census shows the following distribution of American citizens, by Race:
European descent.(white)..69.12%
Hispanic ...........................12.5%
Black.................................12.3%
Asian.................................03.7%
Native American...............01.0%
Other ................................02.6%

Now... here are the fatalities by Race; over the past three years in Iraqi Freedom:
European descent (white)...74.31%
Hispanic ............................10.74%
Black .................................09.67%
Asian..................................01.81%
Native American ...............01.09%
Other..................................00.33%
These statistics are published by Congressional Research Service, and they may be confirmed by anyone at: http://www.fas.org/sgp/crs/natsec/RL32492.pdf http://www.fas.org/sgp/crs/natsec/RL32492.pdf>

Father and Daughter talk

A young woman was about to finish her first year of college. Like so many others her age, she considered herself to be a very liberal Democrat, and was very much in favor of 'the redistribution of wealth.'
She was deeply ashamed that her father was a rather staunch Republican, a feeling she openly expressed. Based on the lectures that she had participated in, and the occasional chat with a professor, she felt that her father had for years harbored an evil, selfish desire to keep what he thought should be his.
One day she was challenging her father on his opposition to higher taxes on the rich and the addition of more government welfare programs. The self-professed objectivity proclaimed by her professors had to be the truth and she indicated so to her father. He responded by asking how she was doing in school.
Taken aback, she answered rather haughtily that she had a 4.0 GPA, and let him know that it was tough to maintain, insisting that she was taking a very difficult course load and was constantly studying, which left her no time to go out and party like other people she knew. She didn't even have time for a boyfriend, and didn't really have many college friends because she spent all her time studying.
Her father listened and then asked, 'How is your friend Audrey doing?' She replied, 'Audrey is barely getting by. All she takes are easy classes, she never studies, and she barely has a 2.0 GPA. She is so popular on campus; college for her is a blast. She's always invited to all the parties, and lots of times she doesn't even show up for classes because she's too hung over.'
Her wise father asked his daughter, 'Why don't you go to the Dean's office and ask him to deduct a 1.0 off your GPA and give it to your friend who only has a 2.0. That way you will both have a 3.0 GPA and certainly that would be a fair and equal distribution of GPA.'
The daughter, visibly shocked by her father's suggestion, angrily fired back, 'That wouldn't be fair! I have worked really hard for my grades! I've invested a lot of time, and a lot of hard work! Audrey has done next to nothing toward her degree. She played while I worked my tail off!'
The father slowly smiled, winked and said gently, 'Welcome to theRepublican Party.'