Funniest video I've seen in a while.

http://www.youtube.com/v/MRvtWEG_vhQ&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&hl=en&feature=player_embedded&fs=1%22%3E%3C/param%3E%3Cparam

You will love this. Enjoy

Someone is going to die!

Yes, someone is going to die.

The battle over "healthcare reform" is heating up. People who oppose this bill are being labelled as "brown shirts", and "astro-turf grassroot nuts."

Meanwhile the Democrats are told by their leadership to "push back twice as hard" when confronted at their "townhall meetings."

When a big scuffle breaks out and someone gets hurt or even killed, we will be told that it is the fault of the Republicans and/or Fox news and/or talk radio ______ (fill in the blank with Rush, Michael Savage, Sean Hannity etc).

I predict this and you can count on it coming true.

Eye Test

Can you spot the 44th president of the U.S. in the chart above?

If I wrote more often, I could have predicted this.

Despite Strong Economic Growth, Top Newspapers Pitch Bad Times

http://www.cnsnews.com/public/content/article.aspx?RsrcID=35371



And of course a related cartoon:

http://www.cnsnews.com/public/cartoons/cartoonstrip.aspx?Rsrcid=35163

Sarah Palin

To me Sarah has a Canadian accent in her speech. I guess Alaska is close to Canada.

No, I have it. She has a North Dakota accent or jargon. Hell it is as close to Canada as Alaska.

No, better yet I hear Frances McDormand, an actress who played a pregnant Brainerd Police Chief Marge Gunderson, in the movie "Fargo." Yah, that is who she sounds like.

The Difference two men facing adversity

If you haven't heard or read John McCain's story of facing adversity in 5 1/2 years in Vietnam prison camp. If you haven't heard it all yet or read it all, here is his story: http://www.usnews.com/articles/news/2008/01/28/john-mccain-prisoner-of-war-a-first-person-account.html

And this is how the Democrat faces his adversaries in the election. First is his reaction to something Hillary said about him in the election primary: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zhkq11UExcw&feature=related

And he responded to Sarah Palin in the election with this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FPd4yk0x-eg. Of course the media is making excuses for his comments, but they fail to mention that the person introducing Obama set the table before the speech and hyped the lipstick on the other candidate (Actually it is a lipstick on a Pit Bull, her analogy to a hockey mom. MSM just does not get it or understand it). This is only a few seconds of his speech but the crowd there got the "joke."

Obama is such a big man. Imagine him facing the people against the U.S..

No, I am not a McCain supporter. I at least admire what he done while in a Vietnam prison camp. I can't stand his "pussiness" in D.C. "Stand up to the bastards in D.C. like you did the North Vietnamese", I have always said.

But you have to admit, he is 10 times the man of Obama. Hell, Sarah is twice the man that pansy ass Obama will ever be.

Vote!

I am not voting for the baby killing, communist terrorist, tax raising liberal.

I am not for the RINO (Republican in Name Only) media whore.

I AM VOTING FOR SARAH PALIN.

Texas Sex

Two Texans were out on the range talking about their favorite sex positions. One said, "I think I enjoy the rodeo position the best."

"I don't think I have ever heard of that one," said the other cowboy "What is it?"

"Well, it's where you get your wife down on all fours and you mount her from behind. Then you reach around and cup each one of her breasts in your hands and whisper in her ear, 'Boy, these feel just like your sister's.'

Then you try and stay on for 8 seconds."

email I received

Whoever composed this should run for President.

If only this were true ................


WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY U.S. PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE, DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN,GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?

'My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of the Iraq regime has been completed.

Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.

This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now time to begin the reckoning.

Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short. The United Kingdom , Spain , Bulgaria , Australia , and Poland are some of the countries listed there.

The other list contains every one not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war. THEN EVERY YEAR THERE AFTER It'll GO TO OUR SOCIAL SECURITY SYSTEM SO IT WONT GO BROKE IN 20 YEARS.

The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hellholes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.

Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.

In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. On that note, a word to terrorist organizations Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.

Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France or maybe China.

I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France , Germany , and Russia . Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. Bonne chance, mez&nbs p;amies.

I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York !

A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change.

Mexico is also on List 2 Its president and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple extra thousand tanks and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put 'em? Yep, border security.

Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now.

We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska - which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there.

It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism I answer them by saying, 'damn tootin.'

Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America It is time to eliminate homelessness in America . To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thank you guys. We owe you and we won't forget.

To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak Arabic.

God bless America . Thank you and good night. 'If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, thank a soldier.

The End.

I agree with of this.
I would add: I would pull out of the U.N. and make a naval ship out of the steel of the building.

Me again.

I started back to work this week, part time. I am glad it was part time; it really took a lot out of me just to show up 4 days and 6 hours each. I have the same schedule this week.

I am kind of pissed. The place where I work contact me after one week, I dropped off my Dr. excuse to return to work. They told me that I no longer had job but they would hire me back part time. After telling me that, they said I could start the next week. So two fucking weeks after the doctor's O.K. , they O.K. me coming back. If I had purchased short-term disability I know I would have been back to work sooner. I also bet if I had short-term disability my position would have never disappeared. BULLSHIT. If I had been able to seen the Dr a lot sooner I could have been back to work a lot sooner, I sat on my hands for several weeks waiting for another damn Dr.’s appointment.

Well, anyway the people at therapy wanted me work part time to start. There were Dr.’s who wanted to me to think until I reached 6 months or longer until I considered going back to work, I shut them up by telling them then stop the damn bill collectors from calling me for your money. I need the job whether I can work or not. I am fine. I may be only at 75% O.K. but I am better than most others when I am only 75%.

My ribs only hurt only occasionally; my skull has healed almost completely (the reason I always wear a hat). My lung is only 75% but I think it will always be. My brain is only 75%, I have trouble remembering things like names and I have trouble messing up words. I had a little bit of dyslexia before the accident, now it is magnified. We use a three letter short cuts on the computer at work, I almost always get them wrong, I remember the three letters but I almost always get them mixed up. I talk kind of funny; I think I will always come off as “goofy”, that is the way I am. Yes, I still constantly laugh while talking, some people think it is “cute”, I remind them that it will get annoying in time, just ask my wife. I cry all the time, it comes out of nowhere sometimes, most of the time it comes when something sad happens. Like talking to someone I miss or thinking of things in my life were unhappy. During my life I never cried, never. I did not even cry at my brother’s funeral, I was unhappy at the time but I could not cry, just mentioning now leads to an eyeful of tears. I am messed up now in some ways and I will always will be. I’ve accepted it.

One thing that really pisses me off is my shoulders. I constantly complained while in the hospital that led to an x-ray that led to nothing. I complained to all the fucking Dr.’s that I have been to. I finally got an appointment to a Dr. that have been to before my accident for my shoulders. It also took so long because he wanted an MRI (it also took a long time because he is never in and impossible to get an appointment) I tried an MRI after being doped up before and I could not stand it. Now I can’t even stand to get in a drive through at Burger King, I can’t stand being trapped in line. He gave me a couple of shots into the shoulders and sent me on the way. It only worked 80% on my left shoulder and my right shoulder works only about 20%. I can not raise my right arm and it hurts like hell. Of course, my calling this physician is out of the office until Monday.

I tired Yoga after the shots (it will work after a couple of days); I could not even do simple Yoga stances because my shoulder gave out. 4 months since the accident, my brain is 75%, my lung is 75%, ribs about 90%, skull is 90% and my damn shoulders that were hurting long before the accident is now about 25% O.K. I give him one more chance to take care of this or I am finding someone else. Someone else who will be there when I need them but also be able to fix me. But everything else is healed and heeling and my shoulders still hurts, really hurts damnit. I know something else is going on besides “frozen shoulders”. There is something related to my brain damage or perhaps neck problems from the fall.

These shoulders have been screwed up by this Dr. but was also screwed up by physical therapy at HealthSouth who would not touch this until I visited a Dr. Now I do not have any Physical Therapy visits available by the insurance company. United Health also sucked for not being able to help me. And all those Dr.’s I went to who would not do anything about it: just send me to the specialist is their attitude. Well fuck all of you, I am still messed up. My shoulders hurts.

Well so much for my whining, it is good therapy to bitch and let it out. I am turning more like a women than I like to admit. :)

Well I am back to work, after a few weeks at part time they better put me at full time or I am leaving. I am looking if anyone wants me, I seriously doubt that they doing full time if they can get away with it. I doubt if I could do sales now, because of the way I talk, but I never talked that well before and did all right. Hell, I can do sales. I can probably talk as well as some of them, I am not pretty but never really was. I probably come off as goofy as some salesmen. I am smarter than most, I just don’t come across as such. Yeah, sales is the ticket. I am also looking for a full time Microbiologist position in Tucson, AZ. Interested?

Is this an accident or on purpose?

Someone looked at this and did not see what I see or they saw what I saw and put it on the market. Take a look http://www.joeydevilla.com/2008/06/11/gummi-lighthouses-when-candy-design-goes-terribly-hilariously-wrong/

Beware!

I think that most men (me and my friends excluded) are turning more feminine in this country. Notice that more men now wear jewelry when I was younger, more men have developed "male boobs" as they get older, fatter and softer. Not many men fight anymore, now it accepted for men to bitch, whine and be "catty" rather put up their dukes and put an end to the fight. In short, men are becoming ball-less in this country and may be on their way to what is happening to this poor soul
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/weird/article1367492.ece

The world's largest woodpecker

The woman holding it in her hands allows you to really see the scale of it.

Where I come from, the tree in the photo is also known as a "Dillon" tree.

Cowboy

A rugged Cowboy from Brokeback Mountain, Colorado, goes into the doctor's office and has some test run. The doctor comes back and says, "I am not going to beat around the bush, you have AID'S."

Cowboy tugs at his Stetson and sets his jaw and says, "Doc, what can I do?"

The doctor says, "I want you to go home and eat 5 pounds of spicy sausage, a head of cabbage, 20 un-peeled carrots drenched in hot sauce, 10 jalapeno peppers, 40 walnuts and 40 peanuts, 1/2 box of Grape Nuts cereal, and top it off with a gallon of prune juice."

Cowboy squares his rugged shoulders and asks, "Will that cure me doctor?"

"No, but it should leave you with a better understanding of what your ass is for!!"

Mallard Fillmore

See all of Mallard Fillmore here:
http://jewishworldreview.com/strips/mallard/2000/mallard1.asp

Joke of the Day

An Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand pulling a male buffalo with the other. He says to the waiter: 'Want coffee.'

The waiter says, 'Sure, Chief. Coming right up.'

He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee. The Indian drinks the coffee down in one gulp, turns and blasts the buffalo with the shotgun, causing parts of the animal to splatter everywhere, then walks out.

The next morning the Indian returns. He has his shotgun in one hand, pulling another male buffalo with the other. He walks up to the counter and says to the waiter, 'Want coffee.'

The waiter says 'Whoa, Tonto! We're still cleaning up your mess from yesterday. What was all that about, anyway?'

The Indian smiles and proudly says ......
'Training for position in United States Congress: Come in, drink coffee, shoot the bull, leave mess for others to clean up, disappear for rest of day.

Conservatives Be Aware!

I found a site that offers "free" conservative bumper stickers. To qualify also visit their site MetroSpy.

Free bumpers stickers:
http://www.bumperclub.com/free.htm

MetroSpy site:
http://www.shopmetrospy.com/

A U.S. MAP for all of us

Click on it to see it larger